****Exclusive story at Global Warming: A Worn-Out Hoax*****
Obama today announced that Government Sponsored Enterprises “GSEs” FNMA and FMAC will commence offering Carbon Offset Spread Swaps.
Obama explained “for affordable carbon credits so that Americans can afford to exhale, we absolutely must have a strong, orderly, and well-regulated (by me) world market. Carbon Offset Spread Swaps will make such a market possible. The timing is just perfect for this new market.”
Obama continued “The wealth of Americans will do everyone a lot more good if it is spread around, not just in America, but all over the world. These new products will ensure the participation of the entire world in a rich new society, free of American economic and military domination.”
“There is no risk of a carbon credit price bubble,” explained Obama. “Global temperatures will always go in one direction – up.” Hadley CRU Climate Director Philip Jones echoed Obama’s apprisal of global climate change. “The hockey stick is a sacred reality, of that there can be no debate,” according to Jones.
FNMA and FMAC will buy their carbon credits on the open world market, then bundle them to make exciting new government option products. Greedy capitalists are not employable at FNMA and FMAC, which is another good reason why there can never, NEVER, be a bubble. Only greedy bureaucrats need apply.
Or, you can also get your carbon credits here: Free Carbon Offsets (and, they’re free – but just don’t tell Obama yet)
Also, see here: Moonbattery Offsets! Get Your Free Carbon Offsets!